When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
