I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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