It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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