my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sext me about skeletons
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize