he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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