Porn is love you can see.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
