This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
