Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
