I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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