I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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