Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
