Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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