True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
