Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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