YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
