I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
