i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
