Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How does one acquire holy water?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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