it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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