wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
