Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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