Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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  (631): My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms.. http://tfl.nu/s1m5
  Replies (15) Good night (4585) Bad night (702)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall

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  (303): that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall http://tfl.nu/ckaq
  Replies (25) Good night (5475) Bad night (882)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (3991) Bad night (1174)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.

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  (717): Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin. http://tfl.nu/gep5
  Replies (13) Good night (4077) Bad night (775)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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  (732): im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob" http://tfl.nu/kv4b
  Replies (20) Good night (4443) Bad night (745)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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  (212): The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane http://tfl.nu/6wh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2000) Bad night (874)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..

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  (505): You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through.. http://tfl.nu/mwok
  Replies (9) Good night (1611) Bad night (614)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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  (509): Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters http://tfl.nu/r1et
  Replies (20) Good night (4078) Bad night (1214)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?

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  (314): I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season? http://tfl.nu/6vbo
  Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (500)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

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  (614): This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! http://tfl.nu/jjmt
  Replies (14) Good night (6399) Bad night (727)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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  (520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p
  Replies (12) Good night (1937) Bad night (525)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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  (414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo
  Replies (0) Good night (1141) Bad night (405)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

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  (518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei
  Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (452)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (359)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila

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  (267): At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila http://tfl.nu/iq3c
  Replies (0) Good night (282) Bad night (437)

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