Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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(541): View more from Oregon

he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.

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(415): View more from California

It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

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(253): View more from Washington

No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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(720): View more from Colorado

Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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(802): View more from Vermont

I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.

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