All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day