Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
