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• (407): View more from Florida

  Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (813): View more from Florida

  no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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• (818): View more from California

  Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (518): View more from New York

  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.

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