Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH