if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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