the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The adults are the big ones right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
