We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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