well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
