dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am