Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
