I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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