Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
