Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
