Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize