actually, I'm a sock model
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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