She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
