Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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