I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
