why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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