Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
