dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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