Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no, he came in my armpit
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize