Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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