i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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