I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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