there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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