We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
