Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
