I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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