I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
