you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
