Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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