i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
