Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
