Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize