First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
