Screwed.edu
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
