glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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