as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
