He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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