it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
