I think i peed on brittanys purse
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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